GIR & WWE
by noodletwin
Summary: GIR sees what he thinks is wrestling on HBO at twelve at night. Jhonen hyper and GIR is gonna..... oh just read it... Rated for some explicit stuff.
1. And so it begins

Disclaimer: I own nothing.   
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GIR sat on the couch in the living room of Zim's base, observing human brodcasts again. GIR was extremely excited to be monitoring broacasts today, because now he had the wonder of Digital Cable!! GIR pressed the power button and drooled in awe at the first immages he saw in the screen. HBO at midnight was probably not the best thing for GIR to see. The little robot squealled in delight as he watched the "naked humans wrestle while putting stuff into each other." Then GIR had the greatest idea ever! He was gonna wrestle like the people too! GIR watched the "wrestlers" untill they were done, then ran to the elevator to find the costume machine.  
  
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GIR began pressing random buttons on the disguise machine. He squealled and grinned as he saw the perfect thing flash on the screen. The confused little robot went into the capsul, then emerged wearing black leather boots, a thong, a halter of some sort on his upper body; again made of leather, and a riding crop. GIR went to find his master to show off his new costume!   
  
Zim groaned as he fell out of his seat. He had fallen asleep working on a new device of some sort. He opened his eyes to see GIR running around screaming something about going on "World Wresteling Entertainment," and seeing some "specail fight in a bed." Zim mumbled, and went back to work. "GIR!! Go..... eh... do something!"  
  
GIR's eyes flashed red as he replied "Yes my master." The robot's eyes returned to turquoise and he ran to the computer's research room. He pounded buttons untill he could get onto the human's internet and get to google. The robot researched oddly eficiantly and managed to sign himself up for a traveling tour fight. He ran out of the room screaming "GOTTA GO WATCH MOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!"  
  
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Zim was working on another plan to destroy Dib and take over the world, but first he needed to do a bit of research. He needed to know how to "shake it up baby, twist and shout" as the song said. He went into the compuers research room and stared at the screen in awe. "Be a world wrestling world champion," He read aloud. "I SHALL FIRST BE CHAMPION OF WRESTLING, THEN THE WOORLD!!"   
  
Zim proceded to sign himself up, and researched online for how to compete and such.  
  
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Okay.... end of chapter one....... quack. Review. 


	2. JHONEN!

disclaimer: I own nothing! Wheeee!!  
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After a long awaited return (yeah right) I'm back uptdating! YAY!! I'll try to update more often, just been very busy with school and softball. _ I should have never joined the team. Either way, here's chapter two.  
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GIR sat in front of the TV yet again on another midnight. HBO's "happy feauture" played, and GIR studied it intently, trying to remember every bit of it. He drooled as he watched the two humans. He noticed one of 'em had a really big bulge in his pants, and the other had really big bulges in her shirt. GIR looked down at his new disguise and panicked. He didn't have the lumps! He lept up from the couch and skittered off to the elevator in the kitchen, where he completely ingored Zim, who was "preparing his figure" for the wrestling tournamant.   
  
Minutes later, GIR had returned in front of the TV, now with bulges that put Pamela Anderson to shame. The program had ended, but GIR still watched, because he seemed to preceive it as a documentary about the girl wrestlers! But this time the wrestled with poles! GIR gasped. "I NEED A POLE TO PRACTICE ON TOO!!" GIR finished watching the show and then headed for the research room. He had to stop and listen to his master. He said something about "More food, need to be grotesqely overweight to compete."   
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GIR had found the perfect training place, but it was in the bowels of the city. He roamed the streets untill he found the righ place. It was called "A2." He even sang a little song on the way about the place. It went as followed: "Ayeeeeeeee two!! All nude! All the time! DOOM!!" Upon arival through the front door, men immideatly hooted and howeled, and even stuffed money into his bulges. GIR found a pole that wasn't used and went beserker. He started by licking it, then thrusting his midsection at it. He rubbed his behind on it, he spun around on it, he even managed to hold himself upright by clamping on with his mouth. By the time he was finished, he managed to get a good thousand dollars off of 'nice people givin' him moneyz for wrestin' da pole'.   
  
GIR decided to get some food before going home. Despite his urge to go to the Krazy Taco, he decided to go to "Binge and Barf," an all you can eat buffet. He oppened the door and screamed. To his horror, master was their, and eatin' all the food! He ran out of the door screaming about "the krazy taco will save me! Upon arival to the mexican fast food resturant, GIR immideatly ran to the counter and screeched that he wanted everything on the menu with a large classic poop. The order was immediatly piled onto one tray, then purchased. The little minion grabbed the tray and sat at a table, which was already occupied by a man with red hair, oval glasses, a black trenchcoat, and knee high boots. The man sighed and mumbled something about the tacos being toxic, and having bizzare hillusinations, ones worse then his nightmares about fanfiction. "HIYA MISTER!!" GIR squealed.   
  
The red haired man sighed "Hello littel green dog that looks way too much like something I've drawn."   
  
GIR stared at the man confused, then quickley thought the man to be nice and squeaked "I like you!! Whassyurename?"  
  
The man laughed. "Jhonen, and though I can probably already guess what your name is, I'll do this the polite way and....... Whats your name?"  
  
"GIR! REPORTING FOR DUTY!! Heheheheheeeeeeee.... doody." GIR's eyes first went red then went to their "normal" color upon the insane giggling.   
  
Jhonen couldn't help but smile. "What have you been up to GIR?"  
  
"I'm gonna WRESTLE!! Watch ME!! I'm gonna be in a match on.....SATURDAY!!"   
  
"Hmmm..... Okay, but I have to go now..." Jhonen walked away after seeing two teenage girls looking at him. One hand dyed red hair, very pale skin, and blue eyes while the other was oveweight, freckle covered, and natural redish/blonde hair. They had a look in their eyes that only a cartoonist would fear.   
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End chapter two! yay! I'm sorry for lack of updates, but I hope you've enjoyed this... now review..... please? 


	3. Locker room antics

Disclaimer: I own shit on a shingle (aka NOTHING!)   
Authors notes: 'Ey Meeper? thats Jhonen. And the two is me and my freind Jess. Read "Crazy, a Kinda Sorta True story" In the Jhonen Vasquez section. It is enjoyable. And there is even a sequel in progress (which I havent updated in ages.... ) Either way, I just wanted to say I'll be updating alot more here. I need something to do with my spare time.  
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Jhonen sat in front of his TV. He was bored. It was a Saturday nigt. He was taking a break from drawing and the TV was just there for noise. He heaved a sigh and turned off the television. As he got up from the couch, he remembered his "conversation" at the Krazy Taco. He smiled as he grabbed his long leather jacket from the coat rack. He was going to go watch wrestling.   
  
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GIR was back stage getting ready for his big match. The little droid applied the rest of the makeup he had from the "nice lady with all the fun face paint stuff." He put on his 'wrestling clothes' while humming the tune of "the most annoying song in the world." Other guys in the locker room stared at the robot funny. The only other person getting more funny looks was another familliar face.  
  
Zim, now obeese from immense eating sessions, wore his "diaper" with pride. "Now to show these sumo men who's boss," Zim mumbled. He started laughing utnill it grew to such a loud level that everyone there was staring besides GIR who was running around screaming "OH YEAH YOU SEXY BITCHES" while giggling to himself. Another person giggled to himself, but this person was in another part of the building.  
  
Jhonen sat in the front row of seating. He laughed as he took a few swigs of his Cherry freezy. He got the biggest one he could find at the 7-11. Some people looked at him funny. He just yelled "SPELL FUN WITHOUT THE 'N'!!!!!!!"  
  
One person actually bothered to say "Efff yooooooou........ Whaydaminnute!! YOU MADE ME SWEAR!"   
  
"So?" The sugar crazed man said.  
  
"You wanna settle it in the ring?" The guy asked. His breath smelled strongly of beer.   
  
Jhonen grinned "Sure!" With that said, he ducked to avoid a punch throw straight for his head.  
  
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Sorry about the short chapter, but at least its another chapter. 


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